My insanity is sublime!”
El Santo is a folk icon in Mexico. He was a silver masked wrestler who was the idol of the people for over 50 years. He not only starred in the ring but also in best selling Comic Books and over 50 films. In the course of his cinematic career he fought Dracula, the Frankenstein Monster, Zombies, Witches and Martians. He even went to Atlantis. He finally took his mask off to reveal his face on a chat show after more than a half century of total secrecy and dropped dead 3 days later.
Only 4 of Santo’s movies were dubbed into English and it’s a little tricky to figure out why this is one of them. Ok, ‘Santo Vs The Vampire Women’ (1971) and ‘Santo Vs The She-Devils’ (1972) (werewolf babes in furry bikinis and cardboard teeth) bring a level of campy fun but this villain and his schemes are lame beyond belief. My best theory is that this was the first movie where Santo is working for Interpol and some U.S. distributor thought he was going to be some kind of wrestling James Bond. Quack quacks oops.
What do you mean you’d rather drive?
Dr Death is an art forger/restorer who nicks old masters by having his pretend blind assistant vandalise them and then replace them with copies when he gets the job of fixing the originals. It’s a pretty well thought out strategy really. After all no-one’s going to think anyone would do something that idiotic. Oh, he also paints originals using beautiful semi-clad models that he imprisons in is cellar so he can give them tumours, harvest the diseased tissues and then use them for something or other. Because, at the end of the day, he’s a doctor of art and a doctor of chemistry.
There’s the usual couple of wrestling matches (one opponent has a switchblade – another of Dr Death’s brilliant plans), Santo goes to the airport in his mask and no-one looks at him twice and he gets sidelined for about 20 minutes whilst a glamorous Interpol agent goes undercover at Dr Death’s medieval pad.
It all ends in a speedboat chase but by then I was nodding off. Boring beyond words. Watch accompanied by mugs of strong coffee…
Mark David Welsh 